The Fashion of the Christ

I got to eat lunch with Jes today. I hadn't seen her in probably a good 6 months, and, before that, not since her wedding last July.

We talked for hours and caught up and reminisced. And then she we started opening up to each other about things--stories from the past--that she had never told me because she thought I would think she was a terrible person.

"You went through a really religious phase," she said.

Yeah, I know.

And I've never been so sorry for it. I resent a lot of the things I had to deal with: the guilt, the lies, the wasted time when I could have been doing other things. But, I sincerely worked through it and ultimately came to see all of those experiences as positive since, 1. there actually were good times that I had and good people and relationships that came out of all of it. and 2. I wouldn't have the good sense and wisdom I do now from having come full circle.

But, after hearing Jes say that, I felt so terrible. I'm glad she told me. I am glad to know how she felt. And what an amazing friend and beautiful person to have stuck by me even though I was such an ass for so long and she didn't agree with my perspective at all.

To know that I made her feel like there were things--and we're not talking about bad things here, people--that she couldn't tell me because I was so judgmental, closed-minded, and religious, well, that just sucks.

And it reminds me what being a good Christian is really all about. It's about show. It's about hearing somebody say the words, "I accept Christ as my personal savior" and then moving on to another one. It's about following all the rules, but then going on and on about how it's not about that at all, because it's about a personal relationship with Jesus. It's about knowing absolutely nothing about your religion's history, or the Bible, or things that were culturally relevant at the time of the Bible, or science, or anything standing in opposition to what you believe. But feel free to talk at length about all of those things, cause, you know, what's a little bit of education compared to the persuasive power of lighting, music cues, and guilt?

It really is a fashion of the Christ; it's a good show to be put on. And once I meet someone who considers himself to be a Christian in the sense that I have been raised to understand it who doesn't possess these unbearable qualities maybe I will reconsider.

A (school) year in review

As is to be expected, this is a personal reflective post. I guess all I can do is apologize--yet again--and promise better content in the future. For now, I need this.

This was a fantastic little scene at the pond on campus today. There were actually 2 more on there, who startled when Ethan and I came close and jumped in for a swim.

I am done with my first year, and what a year it was. Wow, I have experienced so much and changed so dramatically. From riding in the rented car with Mom, Dad, and Eric crying about my irrational decision to commit myself to a "sprawling suburban hell hole" I had never even visited, to where I sit today, happy, healthy, accepted and better for it.

God truly does work wonders in our lives; in my life I see it.

Out here I have found foundation in a church which represents my beliefs and embraces others'. I have found relationships like I had not known before in my colleagues, professors, random acquaintances, and even students. I have found satisfaction and purpose in teaching. I have found challenge and discovery in my academic pursuits. I have found growth and change in owning up to responsibilities, making decisions, and evaluating my circumstances. I have found excitement and spontaneity in experiences with people who are not like myself, and not familiar to me. I have found fear in not knowing where I will go after this endeavor. I have found faith in my ability to accomplish anything life may hand to me. I have found hope in the reality that transition just takes time--but it does take. I have found pleasure in the simple tossing of a frisbee. I have found comfort in the sipping of cheap wine. I have found lust in unexpected encounters. I have found humility in making mistakes in front of disgruntled 20-somethings. I have found a deeper, stronger, reciprocal love between my parents and myself. I have found peace in Boulder, Colorado.

Katie and myself at Brasserie Ten Ten. Our final class meeting for Space and Materiality.

And, just for fun, some highlights:
Smoking
Boulder hating
Shanethanon, Shanthan, Shanethan, etc.
Korean Karaoke
Pub Quiz
Denver
"Undergrad" nights
Motet
AK 47
Starbucks card from Angela
Lecturing
Frisbee!
Mediterranean Restaurant
No Country for Old Men
Dark Star
The Buffoons
Around Midnight
Choir
Writing 6 major term papers (the accomplishment, not the process)
Weekend trip home
NCA
Fox Japan tour
Immortal Technique
Biking
Hot Yoga
San Diego
Santa Barbara
NYC
Photo shoots
Cartoons w/ Ethan
Just hangin' around, dickin'

Identity Crisis/Crisis of Faith

What constitutes a faith? A particular worldview, ideology, religion, spirituality, or set of conventions and behaviors that dictate one’s life? The term faith conjures up images of strong belief and practice—something that requires devotion and something that demands a certain element of trust in and expectation of that thing. While faith is a deeply personal element of an individual, a faith is something people share which can foster community and facilitate culture. A faith is something people, groups of people, identify with.

But the ability to identify with a faith—or anything—doesn’t just fall in to place accidentally. Religions do not boast millions of followers by dumb luck. Rather, an identity is carefully crafted and strategically promoted on behalf of the belief itself by those representing it. In this way, rhetoric is essential to the experience of faith and community that is so closely tied to religion and spirituality.

As in all churches, this experience is unique in First Congregational Church, a member of the United Church of Christ denomination located in Boulder, Colorado. Each institution of faith has its own traits and characteristics which construct its unique identity. Or, perhaps more accurately, traits and characteristics are constructed to create this identity. It is no wonder that the familiar phrases “having a crisis of faith” and “an identity crisis” have become clichés; faiths now inherently have an interdependent relationship with identity.

The above is my first attempt at an introduction for my rhetorical criticism paper. Feel free to critique. It's only one page...the intro itself isn't even complete yet.

Sitting and waiting. Note the lovely day outside and me sitting inside.

Grad school. It'll kill ya.

UCC what I see?

Photo commentary: outside the Theatre building. It was one of those days that people just can't stop talking about. I sat and read for not nearly long enough, trying to get some research done for a paper that's been attempting asphyxiation for several weeks now. No headway made.

The United Church of Christ ran a full page ad in the New York Times in response to all the Pastor Wright hullabaloo. It costs $120,000. Here is what it said:

Much has been said about the United Church of Christ in recent weeks, much of it hurtful for many in our country, including members of Trinity UCC in Chicago. That is why we are eager to share the broad and diverse story of
the United Church of Christ, one that we celebrate.

With all Christians, we rest in God’s amazing grace and hear God’s voice in the words of Scripture. Yet, the UCC is unique to some because we do not require uniformity of belief. We are a church of open ideas, extravagant welcome and evangelical courage. Our passion for democracy extends to both government and church, where decision-making rests within each congregation. We support liberty in our pulpits, just as we affirm the individual conscience of our 1.2-million members to agree, disagree and wrestle with life’s biggest questions in a spirit of love.

Our story is this nation’s story. We are the people of the Mayflower. More than 600 of our 5,700 congregations were formed before 1776. Eleven signers of the Declaration of Independence were members of UCC predecessor bodies.

As early abolitionists, we came to the aid of the Amistad captives and founded hundreds of schools across the South after the Civil War. We were the first mainline church to ordain an African-American (1785), a woman (1853) and an openly gay pastor (1972). We were also the first to form a foreign mission society (1810). Our multi-ethnic membership includes persons from every immigrant group, as well as native peoples and descendants of freed slaves.

Our unity is not dependent upon uniform agreement, but in our shared allegiance to Jesus Christ. Ours is a risk-taking church, because ours is a risk-taking God.

God is still speaking.

I feel that the ad was a good one, and that it was money well spent. They took no funds from mission projects; it was mainly paid for through donations from individuals and congregations. It saddens me to think how people will stop at nothing to win. This pastor's words were taken out of context and flashed all over 24 hour news networks in order to discredit a presidential candidate. No care was taken whatsoever for those who are members of his church, for his denomination's reputation, and certainly not his own.

I wonder what punishment will befall these people.