Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Aight, here's the deal

The purpose of this blog was a project for graduate school. Hence the big dramatic push with the first post to get people to read. Well, between that going no where, computer difficulties, and summer distractions I am officially done with that.

I'll continue to blog, but, it will not be for any greater purpose than my own self-absorption. It will not be daily (perhaps rethinking the title of this blog with be an order...any thoughts?) and I won't make any pushes to read it anymore. So, basically if you want to see what I'm up to or what outrageous position I take on some explosive issue, feel free to keep checking in.

So that's that. Perhaps another year we'll give it a go.


Shannon is pissed off that Sidney Crosby won the ESPY for best NHL player for the second year in a row and the award was not even televised on the pre-recorded broadcast. Actually, if one unfamiliar with American sports were to watch that show he would not know that we had a sport called hockey at all.

Shannon saw The Dark Knight last night and thought it was good--but also thought it was over about 5 different times. Too many endings. But, still the best live action Batman flick ever--hands down.

Shannon went out after the movie last night with Julie to comfort her in a time of need. We went to Thursday's (even though it was a Tuesday...) where Julie and I sat and talked with the former owner for what seemed like forever about movies (the guy is my movie taste twin). Then we left--Shannon felt fine--to go to EatnPark. BUT AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE DECIDED ON SHEETZ INSTEAD. Big f-ing mistake. One sausage biscuit, Italian wrap, Marlboro menthol, and about 500 yards later, 3 of the 5 police cars that had been sitting in the lot at Sheetz were flashing their lights behind my car. Still at this point I has few worries. I figured I was speeding (the limit's like 45 and they are known for being really bad in the area I got pulled over in) and if you would have put my life on the line I would have told you that there was NO WAY I was ANYWHERE NEAR the legal limit. Well, one of the 37 cops they called in to pull me over came to the window, did the song and dance and told me why he pulled me over.

1. When you pulled into Sheetz you hit the pole in front of you.
2. You changed lanes without signaling.
3. You cut off that semi-truck.

Now, let me say this, not because I am justifying ANYTHING AT ALL FROM LAST NIGHT. No, no. If there's anything I am it's responsible--and honest--but I just gotta say this. All of those claims--every single one of them--are absolutely bogus. Not one--NOT ONE- actually happened.

1. I did NOT hit the pole when I pulled it. I just straight up didn't. Now, the pole was moved as if someone had hit it at some point in history, and Julie and I got out and looked at it because of that. But I did not hit it. And, basically, just look at the car and you can see that.

2. The only point in the road when you can change lanes (that is when it splits into two from a single lane) was reached by me after the police lights were on. And so, on that charge they might technically be right. I'm sure I didn't signal to pull over with them on my ass, but there was no way that was the reason they stopped me.

3. Same as the second, I didn't reach two lanes until after they were on me, so how I cut someone off is beyond me. Julie and I both have no idea what semi they were talking about. We never saw one (yeah, so maybe that's why I cut it off...).

My guess is this, they're clearly bored (5 cars sitting at Sheetz) and saw me and Julie sitting, chatting, being silly, etc. for a while at the gas station. My dad's car really stands out so they wouldn't forget it. And then, when I was driving home I spit out the window (because I smoked one of Julie's cigarettes and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth), but some of it hit the back of the door, so I got a napkin and wiped it off, but I likely swerved when I was doing this, which could have given them some vague reason to think I was intoxicated. Whatever...the story continues, and AGAIN, this was not justification of anything, but just to have my say--my accurate say--and tell you how it really was.

The cop goes back to his car, like they do. Julie and I are, of course, doing everything we can to hold back laughter at this point. After all, I am the girl who sang "The roof is on fire!" when her house was burning down--I just can't help but to have a good time no matter what. Then I hear those 6 words no driver on the way home from the bar wants to: "Step out of the car please."


So I do, and I get breathalized (whatever happened to walking a straight line? I would have been all over that.) and was over the limit.


"Get back in the car."

So, at this point I am still having trouble keeping a straight face. Not because I don't take this stuff seriously, but because I'm just a if you don't laugh you'll cry kinda girl and I cry enough as it is. So, I get back in the car and in my most serious voice I stare straight ahead and say to Julie, "I'm done." And we laugh of course.

The cop comes to the car and asks why I have a Colorado driver's license. I tell him I'm getting a Masters in Communication, and only home for the summer. He asks if I have a PA license. I tell him no (did he think I had two?) and he says, "Well, let me be frank with you. It's the law that a DUI with an out of state license is automatic time in jail. I'd have to arrest you and take you in right now. But that's an awful lot of work that I don't feel like doing, so since you don't have a PA license, and you seem like a nice girl with her head on straight, I'm gonna let you go if someone can come down here and pick you up right now. It's not going on your record, nothing."

And then I think to myself, "You know, Shannon, one day something is not going to work out for you. I wonder when that day's gonna come?"

And you know, I worry that will be the day I die.

1 comment:

Brittany said...

Three things.

1) Menthols?

2) YOU BIOTCH! This would never, ever happen to me. I wasn't born under a lucky star.

3) I'm sad that you aren't going to blog every day. I have enjoyed reading.